January 24th 2010

The day that changed my life. It was night time and I had absolutely nothing to do so I remembered this website my cousin had told me about and decided to check it out, the website was called chatroulette and it was fun, but it didn’t seem like the place you would find the love of your life. Well, I did. After some time talking to some ok people I see this guy; shaved head, blue eyes, pale skin, sitting on the floor with a shit webcam and for some reason start talking to him and it was kinda funny cause he thought I wasn’t real, he thought it was just an old fat hairy guy with a video of a pretty girl ahah So I asked him if he wanted me to prove that I was real, and he said yes. So I asked him what his name was and picked up a pink Walt Disney pen and wrote Ryan on my hand, that was the start! After that we talked about many different things for about two hours and then he asked me for my email so we could talk on msn. He added me and we simply talked for another 7 hours non-stop and oh god, saying goodbye on msn was sooo hard. He had given me butterflies and I didn’t want to let him go, I knew he was mine and he knew I was his. On the following day, I woke up and got my laptop straight away so I could check if he was online, I couldn’t stop thinking of him, he wouldn’t leave my mind for not even a second, he had become my everything. But how would I tell my parents I was in love with a guy from Scotland who I had met online? Anyway, we kept talking non-stop almost 24 hours a day everyday for 2 months, nobody knew about him and then I decided to tell my friends who thought I was completely crazy, and I was. At first they didn’t really support me but they knew he made me happy so just accepted it. Me and Ryan were so deeply in love that he just decided to come here in april, so he bought the tickets and then it was time to tell my patents about him and that he would be coming to see me for a weekend, oh my god, it was a mess. I lied, I told them Ryan had been to Brazil with his family in december 2009 and that we had met at a party, of course my dad didn’t believe me but pretended he did, and that was good enough for me. My dad was really worried I’d get hurt but I was willing to do anything for this love. Ryan also told him mom he had met me in Scotland at his friend’s party but she already knew the truth, parents always know the truth, remember that haha. I was madly, deeply in love with that guy and couldn’t wait to see him.

April 2010 

Best days of my life. His eyes, his smile, his kisses and his hugs were the best. I was so happy to see him, everything was so romantic until the first kiss, which was a mess hahahaha but still the best kiss ever! We spent amazing days with my family, going out to eat and meeting my friends, everyone was just amazed at how awesome he was and loving and caring and perfect! We took many pictures and had a lot of fun. It was him, he was my only one. It was time for him to leave after making me incredibly happy for a whole weekend. I wanted him to keep a part of me with him so I gave him a heart shaped box I had been preparing for a while with his favorite chocolate, a letter and many love notes inside it and he gave me a small box and told me not to open it until he was gone. We cried and we made promises, we kissed and hugged a lot, it was so hard to let him go, but I had to and I knew he would be back. When we got to the airport he gave me flowers, they were lovely, he was lovely. It was time to say goodbye, we cried so much, every little piece of me was in pain, saying goodbye was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, he meant my life and I didn’t want to let him go. On the way back home, holding the flowers and crying so much, my dad told me he knew I had met him on the internet and said he was really disappointed, that I shouldn’t have lied and that he couldn’t trust me anymore. It was tough to hear that coming from my dad, but I had head him telling my uncle the day before that he thought Ryan was a good guy, so that was just him showing me I didn’t have to lie. When I got home I cried more and opened the box he had given me, it was a letter inside a bottle, just like in movies, it was beautiful, the most beautiful present I have ever got. The most beautiful words ever written. Our relationship was awesome, the best thing I’ve ever experienced. We kept talking to each other non-stop, every single day for 2 months and then he decided it was time to see me again!

July 2010 

Me and my friends went to pick him up at the airport, it was so good to have him back in my arms. We spent an amazing month with my friends and family. Ryan and my family got much closer, everyone was so attached to him, it was amazing. Things had turned out better than we thought. We went fishing with my family, visited the zoo, went to the cinema a million times, had amazing dinners together, went in the pool which made his european pale skin go reeeeeed hahahaha. One night we fell asleep in the same bed and on the following day my dad was so mad, saying I couldn’t have done that and that it was disrespectful but he ended up fine and we didn’t do it again. Anyway, that month was awesome and saying bye was even harder… We kept going, talking every single day. I missed him like hell everyday. I started to get closer to his family and I felt really awesome cause they really seemed to like me and I simply loved them. His mom is a sweetheart, the best mother-in-law I could have asked for. She’s so caring, funny and cute. I can’t wait to meet them.

September 2010

That’s Ryan back in my arms! This was the most special trip for us, and the most special and important part of my life. He came to brazil to see me again and also celebrate my birthday (3rd of october). He was perfect, taking care of me, loving me, making me happy. On the day of my birthday he gave a necklace, earrings, a watch and the cutest card i’ve ever got. My friends, family and Ryan prepared me a surprise barbecue and we had so much fun. Also, we traveled to my hometown and had an amazing time; he got to meet my grandmother and the rest of the family, that also really liked him. Time to leave again…same old same, we suffered, we cried and we were in pain. But I knew he would be back.

December 2010 

It new year’s eve and I picked him up from the airport, we were so happy to finally see each other. When night time came we got all dressed up and called his mom on skype to wish her a happy new year, it was cute. After that, we had dinner with my family then got in the car to go to a party by the lake. It was raining and there was so much traffic that we thought we would be late for midnight. Fortunately we weren’t late, but there was only 2 minutes left of 2010, so we ran in the party and saw those beautiful fireworks  and then we kissed, exactly at midnight 2011. It was magical, so cute and so perfect. So yea, i guess it was that kiss that made 2011 such a good year. Anyway, he was here for the whole of january, we went out a lot, argued a lot, loved a lot and laughed a lot! It’s always good when he’s around.. oh how I wish he could be around all the time… 

June 2011

 I came home from school thinking it was going to be a normal day, but when I arrived in my room I just saw all that chocolate on my bed, a shirt, a letter and a teddy bear, it was really really cute and made my heart melt… My mom came around and asked me what he had written so I told her he was wishing me a happy easter (it was supposed to have arrived by easter,  I thought) and then she asked me if I had seen a letter he had hid in the guest’s bathroom last time he came and I said no and that I would check it after I had lunch. She kept saying no, telling me to go see before lunch so I went there opened the door and went to the toilet, as soon as I opened the bathroom’s door HE WAS THERE HOLDING A CAMERA TO FILM MY REACTION. As soon as i saw him, I did something no one would expect me to do. I simply closed the door while screaming ahahahahahahahhaaha It was the best surprise I’ve ever had. And again we had a great time, just doing the same things, going in the pool, fishing with my parents etc. We also went to the city late to do Stand up Paddle, which was reeeeally fun. Many times he would go play football (soccer) with my friends and I’d be thee watching. We would go to the movies and have lovely dinners. And he was gone again for 4 months :(

November 2011

He arrived here on the 20th or 21st, his flight had been cancelled so he was one day late. As soon as he arrived we had to go buy him shoes and a suit to go to my graduation ceremony and party :) It was really nice, and we had so much fun. After the ceremony we just went home and spent the night together. Then at the party we danced and had a really good time, he was looking amazing in the suit and both of us and also my family were all really happy. My parents went home at 3 am and me and Ryan stayed until the party was finished then had breakfast with my friends, aaaah it was amaaaazing! We were so happy around each other, waking up together every single day, hugging and kissing a loot! Then on the 8th of december it was his 22nd birthday and I decided to throw him a surprise party, so I told him I was going to prepare us a romantic dinner and that he had to go out with my brother hahaha anyways, he came back from the movies with my brother and got his surprise, there was a really beautiful cake and maaaany friends, we had so much fun. I had been saving some money for his bday present so I gave him an ipad :) We went in the pool a lot, went to Outback to have dinner, we traveled to my hometown, Porto Alegre, so I could take a university test, see my grandmother and my siter and we had a lot of fun visiting them. Ryan also went to the beach for the first time in brazil, both of us got really red aahahaha we had so much fun at a water park with my sister and her boyfriend/husband haha :) Then we came back and spent another lovely month and went out for dinner on the 24th of january to celebrate our 2 year anniversary, we had such a lovely night. He was supposed to leave on the 31st of january but we just didn’t feel it was the right time for him to leave so we changed his flight to the 7th.. saying goodbye was really bad, I started crying the night before lying on his chest. We both cried a lot but it was time for him to leave and work to get money so he can come and see me again. He left less than a month ago and I truly truly miss him, he is my everything and my only. Love is a powerful thing, I’ll tell you that. <3